Omg. I just saw this and I love you so much. I miss you and you make me smile whenever I think about you. We need to dinner when we get on campus. BZ love.
Katherine Ross & Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate (1967)
by Lana Bijuk
Time to go out. Have a nice Friday night 😘
Hi, long time no rant.
Well boy do I have one for you tonight. I hate people who cannot help themselves. We all have those moments when we need each other. But I’m a firm believer that after a certain while there is only so much others can do for you. Guess what I cannot help you. I’m fucking tired of helping you. I’m exhausted. It’s unfair. It’s selfish. this pity party you always want to throw is something I refuse to attend.
So you feel bad. Guess what I can make you feel even worse. When did it become my job to fix your problems. I don’t have the answer for everything. Do you think I sit a home hoping to get a text about your miserable life? No. Actually I could take a fucking break. Just stop. Stop pretending like your life is so awful and fix it.
Of course it would be easy for me to say this from a position of strength but believe me I have felt the same way. But I don’t complain, I’m not going to die. I don’t think that I want to hurt myself. AND if I have those thoughts minor or major I would look for help. PROFESSIONAL help. You need some fucking professional help so lord please quit quit look for help from me.
If I have to do this one more time I’m going to make things worst for the both of us. because when I have a problem I fix it.
More than I can say for you.
Argh. I’m so over people. Can I just never meet anyone new like I’m so over everything that has happened. It’s been utterly ridiculous. And perhaps I’m a coward for this but all I want is to cut some cords and live somewhere completely away. I love New York but I can’t be here much longer. I don’t feel like I can hide away in the bustling streets anymore. Instead of feeling alone in a crowd I feel watched and suffocated.
Just leave me alone. The crazy needs to stop. The need is enough. If I could change my identity I would that is how lost I wish to be. I would kill for anonymity.